i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize