I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
