She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
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I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
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Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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