I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
They have beer where we have blood.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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