What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
im six kinds of drunk right now
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
