Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
