so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
