Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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