You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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