found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
In other news, I just burned my penis
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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