I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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