Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
