This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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