He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
