I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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