By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I need water and some morals
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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