I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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