Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
