she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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