You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
