I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
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this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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