ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
NoShamevember. You game?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
