we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He passed out mid-signature
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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