Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
