I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
