help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
