i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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