So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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