Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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