Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
