we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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