U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
