I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Come share oat with me in your robe
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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