The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
