we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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