Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
