just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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