I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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