So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
