I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
