Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
