I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
