I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I could fuck to npr.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Holy shit dude........stairs
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
