You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
