Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today

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  (770): I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today http://tfl.nu/7gup
  Replies (6) Good night (1010) Bad night (364) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You mean bread?

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  (678): All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast? (404): You mean bread? http://tfl.nu/0bp8
  Replies (60) Good night (16886) Bad night (1264)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".

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  (519): I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA". http://tfl.nu/ak7j
  Replies (9) Good night (3590) Bad night (859) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed

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  (317): he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed http://tfl.nu/zklq
  Replies (12) Good night (6334) Bad night (833) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call

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  (248): dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call http://tfl.nu/9cld
  Replies (66) Good night (1270) Bad night (5043) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.

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  (407): I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying. http://tfl.nu/u472
  Replies (30) Good night (8916) Bad night (938) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar

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  (913): all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar http://tfl.nu/vsuv
  Replies (1) Good night (2646) Bad night (1173) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.

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  (510): Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior. http://tfl.nu/2r56
  Replies (6) Good night (1311) Bad night (461) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.

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  (303): just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room. http://tfl.nu/ss1c
  Replies (19) Good night (2490) Bad night (455) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.

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  (203): No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side. http://tfl.nu/0ask
  Replies (16) Good night (2599) Bad night (633)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.

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  (717): Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango (1-717): IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN. http://tfl.nu/b5hl
  Replies (44) Good night (1478) Bad night (5122)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out

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  (812): and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out http://tfl.nu/6hen
  Replies (5) Good night (1905) Bad night (478) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.

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  (816): Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg. http://tfl.nu/r8tk
  Replies (2) Good night (1039) Bad night (376) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I pray for you bro.

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  (609): I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place. (215): I pray for you bro. http://tfl.nu/qs2m
  Replies (1) Good night (221) Bad night (527)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue

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  (720): I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue http://tfl.nu/01f7
  Replies (3) Good night (275) Bad night (181) Order T-Shirt

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