I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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