if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?