Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.