sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
