He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
