I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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