Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize