Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize