honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
