I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
