just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
These tits shall not be calmed
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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