As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
