Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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