Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
