you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
