dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
