i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
