You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
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Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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