Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
only if we run a train.
done.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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