I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just high enough for therapy.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Brb crying the tears of my youth
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
