you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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