I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage