Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? ðð