Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
