When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
